‘Hello Bruce Springsteen, I’m’… ‘Next Please’
I set my alarm 90 minutes before my normal wake up time.
I secured my place in line two hours before the doors opened.
I rehearsed, discarded and reformulated my introductory comment repeatedly. Should I open with a personal memory? Should our conversation be poignant? Funny? What if I ask a question and he responded with a question? Would I be ready with a witty, unforgettable follow up?
These scenarios and hypotheticals whirled through my brain as I prepared to meet, for me anyway, rock and roll royalty in the form of Bruce Springsteen. “The Boss” has been hopscotching the country of late, doing meet-and-greets with fans who need only purchase a copy of his memoir, Born to Run. Books-A-Million in Chicago’s Loop sold 1,200 tickets in 20 minutes. Springsteen would appear for two hours.
“How is that possible?” I asked Melanie Smith, the chain’s director of corporate marketing. “If everybody gets, say 30 seconds with Bruce…”
“It won’t be 30 seconds,” Smith politely replied. “His objective is to touch as many people as possible. He wants to hear their stories on social media. He just can’t hear them today.”
So, that means I can’t recount how I waited hours in line exactly one other time in my life? For a 1981 Springsteen show. (Memorable)
Or mention how I still tear up when I hear The Rising, his post 9/11 tribute to fallen firefighters? (Poignant)
Or suggest he, an avid Hillary Clinton supporter, replace the word “baby” in a song lyric to reflect the ever-changing whims of our president-elect?
Is that you, Donald,
Or just a Brilliant Disguise? (Hilarious! In my opinion anyway)
It should be noted that 1,199 other ticket holders were experiencing similar dilemmas. The line, which snaked from the store’s interior into the lobby of the LaSalle Bank Building, out the door onto a rainy, blustery Clark Street and around the corner onto an equally miserable Adams Street, resembled a flock of kids waiting to meet Santa at the mall. Except the average age was 50, not 6.
Suburban Chicago resident Jean Mandella quoted Springsteen in her retirement speech, gained comfort from The River lyrics after a family tragedy, and considers The Boss’ 2012 Wrigley Field concert “the highlight of my life.”
“I even brought a note, like a dork,” the 60-year-old Mandella said.
So which story would she share when she’s face to face with the Boss?
“It’s gonna end up being, ‘Ahhhh, I love you,’” Mandella admitted.
I chuckled at her amateur status in encountering famous people. I’m a JOURNALIST, I reminded myself. Over the years, I’ve grilled President Jimmy Carter on foreign policy, questioned former Dodger skipper Tommy Lasorda’s managerial decisions as he stood naked in front of me following a late inning meltdown against the Cubs, and boldly — and successfully — shouted a question to Prince Charles over the roar of cameras and British tabloid reporters. As I recall, his response was, “Splendid, thank you.”
Yes, meeting The Boss would be a piece of cake. And we WOULD have a nice chat.
Soon I was in the Springsteen on-deck circle. “Wait here,” a Springsteen security team member instructed me. “Now walk directly to that spot. Quickly please.”
Meeting Santa never came with so many rules.
“Hi, Bruce,” I said, extending my hand. “Greg Schwem from the Chicago Tribune. When you played here last year, I wrote…”
“All right man,” he said, pivoting me toward a bookstore employee who was holding my iPhone, preparing to snap my one allotted photo with The Boss.
“…about your exercise, I mean your concert, I mean your stamina during your concerts,” I said, fumbling my way through the sentence.
“This way sir,” another security member said, gesturing me off the stage.
“Uh, can’t wait to read the book,” I said as Springsteen prepared to greet the next fan.
And like that, it was over. But the photo was uploaded to my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram feeds within minutes, instantly making me the envy of all my connections, convinced Springsteen and I were now BFFs.
Maybe he’ll read this column on social media, as Smith mentioned. Then he will respond. Then I’ll share those personal stories that made Springsteen, through his music, such a part of my youth, my middle-aged years and, if his creativity and stamina continue, my golden years.
Also, I have plenty more Donald Trump lyrics to suggest.
Greg Schwem is a business humorist, motivational corporate comedian, corporate emcee, nationally syndicated humor columnist for Tribune Content Agency and creator of the web series, “A Comedian Crashes Your Pad.”
