Greg SchweminThe HavenWho Won the Election? I was Bathing and VacuumingMy cell rang about 2 p.m. on Nov. 5, some three hours before election polls closed on the East Coast.Nov 132Nov 132
Greg SchweminThe HavenBefore You Die, Swim Naked and Fully ClothedImagine treading water wearing a business suit. Blue jeans. A sweater. Or whatever you chose to wear when you left the house that morning…Oct 18Oct 18
Greg SchweminThe HavenYou’re Getting Divorced? At 60? I’m Sorry…Or Congratulations!The following is an excerpt from Greg Schwem’s latest book, Turning Gut Punches into Punch Lines: A Comedian’s Journey Through Cancer…Oct 41Oct 41
Greg SchwemI’m Funnier than Artificial Intelligence. AI Just Told Me SoI have tried, since I first heard the term, to stay away from artificial intelligence.Sep 9Sep 9
Greg SchweminThe HavenPass Your Phone to the BallparkVendor on the AisleI celebrated our nation’s birthday by taking in a ballgame at Wrigley Field, a park known for its rich history, neighborhood location and…Jul 11Jul 11
Greg SchweminThe HavenStumbling My Way Off the Presidential Debate Stage and BallotWhen I was 5, I remember telling my dad I wanted to someday be president. He smiled and began peppering me with questions, clearly enjoying…Jun 27Jun 27
Greg SchweminThe HavenWake Up, Have Sex, Nap: Why I Want to be a 17-Year CicadaIt was the sound I’d been anticipating, as I began a late afternoon May stroll on a golf course somewhere in East Tennessee. Thousands of…May 15May 15
Greg SchweminThe HavenAt the Merchant’s Request, My Review of Shredded CheeseI yawned as I read the subject line in my inbox, this email courtesy of Jewel-Osco, my local grocery store.May 3May 3
Greg SchweminThe HavenSome People Are Too Young to be Listening the ‘The Oldies’Janine, the spin class instructor, breezed into the room, mounted her bike and greeted the already sweating class with her normal Saturday…Apr 20Apr 20
Greg SchweminThe HavenYour Stuffed Animal Fails to Emotionally Support MeThe yowling started shortly after I folded myself into seat 6C on the Southwest flight from Washington, D.C., to Chicago. It was coming…Apr 161Apr 161
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